Kings and Pawns
by Hope12
Summary: Harry is captured by Voldemort. Slowly Harry finds himself changing, becoming some one he never wanted to be. Will he manage to remain a hero when it’s the hardest thing he will ever have to do? Or claim the destiny being offered to him.
1. Chapter 1: If You Do Not Ask

**Kings and Pawns **

**Chapter One: If You Do Not Ask**

* * *

**Rated M just in case.**

_Harry Potter does not belong to me._

This Story is dedicated to Jewl4Life

* * *

'_When everything is at stake nothing really matters and a single decision can change the world'_ Cullen Dumbledore.

His body would not move, he was sprawled out on the snow with the dementors spiralling down to him from over head. The small cliff face he had backed against offered him little safety. He could here screaming and he knew he could not stay conscious for much longer. The dementors were getting so close, gliding just over a meter from him. With the last of his strength he lifted his hand with the wand he had taken from Nott.

"_Expecto Patronum_" he cried out.

A wisp of white flew from the wand and the dementors backed further away but soon the white wisp had faded. Harry knew he was going to die, and he could think of nothing else to save him self as the screams of the women grew louder and louder mingling with the screams of a little boy. Harry did not know when he closed his eyes, but he felt rather than saw the dementor above him. He heard its rasping breath even through the screams and felt its breath on his face.

Just as a dementor leaned close to Harry's mouth, its own mouth wide open to suck out Harry's soul, a great white panther, dragon and boar bounded at the dementors which swooped away and back up into the night. Harry did not see this, but he felt some strength return to him, the screams faded away and he opened his eyes.

But he could barely find it in him self to care as Malfoy Senior, Nott and several other Death Eaters trudged down the small incline towards him. Even as they bound his hands, took Nott's wand from him and dragged him to his feet and back the way he had fled. He stumbled several times, but was barely aware. He could make out the out line of the dark castle becoming clearer and clearer in the moonlight and began to feel dread well up in his stomach. But it was not until he felt a sharp stab in his scar that his mind returned to him properly and he realised just how much danger he would be in. There was no doubt in his mind about to whom he was being taken.

He tugged lightly at the hands holding him to test their grip only to receive a hard punch to his stomach. He felt his body double up even as the hands that held him griped still tighter bruising his arms.

"Don't push it Potter" he heard Nott hiss in his ear.

Harry knew he had really pissed him of when he had taken his wand and knew Lucius would be even angrier with him. Harry had after all almost succeeded in an escape. Voldemort had put Lucius in charge of him, and to fail Voldemort was to face the possibility of death.

The great doors of the castle were soon in front of them and Harry's scar had began to burn continuously, every now and then he would clench his eyes shut as a particularly nasty stab of pain would attack his scar. Voldemort was not pleased, or maybe he was very pleased, Harry had been finding it harder and harder to tell the difference.

They made there way up the steps, and Harry began to feel terror fleer up inside of him. He took deep breaths to try and calm him self. He knew he would be punished for this. Through the doors and up still more steps they went, and it was with an inner shudder that Harry realised that they were going to the main hall, where the Dark Lord held most of the meetings with his death eaters.

The small procession soon came to the open doors of the main hall. Harry could see Voldemort sitting on a chair above the crowd of death eaters. A sharp stab of pain shook through Harry's body causing him to stumble. He clenched his teeth together willing himself not to cry out or show any weakness. But weak was exactly how he felt. Weak and pathetic and evil.

The crowd parted when they saw the possession but largely ignored them as Harry was dragged closer and closer to Voldemort.

Suddenly Harry just couldn't cope any more, the constant fear, guilt and anxiety, coupled with his lack of sleep, isolation, forced learning and 'punishments' had taken there toll. Harry felt himself lose control as the fear became too much. Before he knew what he was doing he was fighting back as much as his bound hands would allow. Gone were his thoughts of bravery. He just didn't care any more.

"NOOOOO" he screamed, fighting against the arms that wrestled with him, pining him to them and still dragging him forward through the laughing crowd, which was enjoying the greatest show of weakness the boy had made since his capture.

Finally he was thrown down before Voldemort who still hadn't looked at the boy. Harry quickly crawled to his feet desperate to get away. But he was only grabbed and thrown down before Voldemort again. Another sharp stab of pain in his scar sent Harry to the ground gasping. His hands grasping his forehead until the pain finally dulled enough for him to slowly push him self onto his knees, wiping the blood away from his forehead and eyes, which were filled with months of unshed tears.

Heaving he slowly raised his eyes to find Voldemort's red eyes focused with interest on his death eaters. He wouldn't even look at Harry. After so long under Voldemort's direct supervision at first it had been almost a shock when Voldemort had tossed him of to Lucius. But it soon became clear that Voldemort had what he wanted out of Harry. He had only wanted him to kill, particuly some one small and innocent. Since then he hadn't bothered with Harry. Harry still did not know why it had unsettled him so much. Hurt him so much. It was as if he had felt betrayed by the act. He had wrestled with him-self over that thought until he had decided it didn't matter. That the only thing that mattered now was that he, Harry Potter was a murderer.

"What is the meaning of this interruption Lucius?" Voldemort asked quietly.

Lucius bowed, and then rose "the Potter boy attempted an escape, but we managed to recapture him before he left the grounds"

"I see" Voldemort said still looking intently at his death eaters, tapping his wand absentmindedly on his chair "and what happened to your face Nott?"

"The boy cursed me My Lord"

Voldemort raised his eyebrows "with whose wand?"

"He took me by surprise My Lord! I…"

"I do not care to here your excuses Nott, it is of no consequence anyway. The boy was recaptured." He glanced at the shacking boy on his knees before him and felt satisfaction stir inside him.

"However" he said at the relived look on his servants face, "that does not mean that your mistake should go unpunished" and slowly Voldemort rose, instantly Nott was on his knees shacking in much the same way Harry was.

"I-I… am sorry My Lord… please have mercy"

Voldemort smirked then raised his wand "_Crucio_"

Nott fell to the ground twitching and screaming until just as suddenly as it began Voldemort lifted the curse "let that be a reminder for you not to disappoint me again" and with that he turned and took his seat again as if torturing someone was the same as having a conversation or any other normal interaction.

Still shaking Nott rose slowly back to his feet and backed away thanking his lord for his mercy.

"What of the boy my lord" Lucius asked finally.

The dark lord seemed to only consider for a moment before turning to the side of the hall where a short hooded figure stood watching the proceedings in rapt attention.

"What do you think Draco?"

Harry lifted his head in surprise and gazed across to the hooded figure that was approaching him slowly.

Just as Draco Malfoy reached Harry and Voldemort, he reached up his hands to pull back his hood but Voldemort reached out and griped Draco's hand to stop him. Slowly Voldemort stood up next to Draco, yet Draco did not bow as was expected. He stood still, tall and proud. As if he were not simply a servant or pawn but instead an equal.

Harry looked up with a pain in his chest. His eyes locked with the hooded figure as Voldemort flung back the hood himself to reveal the boy beneath. Voldemort smiled his twisted smile and then turned towards the crowd of death eaters and then back at Draco where the heir and the monsters eyes meet (and Harry was pleased to see Draco lower his just a moment later). Voldemort lifted up his hand to gently touch the boys cheek "may I present my chosen heir" he said quietly, but in the silent hall his voice carried, echoing slightly so that every one herd it.

An unexplained rage surfaced in Harry at those calm words "LIAR!" he yelled, from where he knelt before the Dark Lord and his heir.

Harry suddenly felt very frightened and foolish as every ones eyes were now fixed on him, even Lord Voldemort's, while Draco was sporting an insufferable smirk as he looked down at Harry's exhausted figure.

Harry felt his head bow, he knew a few months ago he would have jumped to his feet; he would yelled back at his boy-hood enemy. He would have lashed out at Voldemort, or at least tried running for it (even with his hands bound).

But not any more.

He wasn't Harry Potter 'the boy who lived' he was Harry Potter _murderer. _

He gasped as pain shot through him again, he was kneeling one moment and on the floor the next. It took him a moment to realise he had blacked out for a second.

His hands clutched again at his forehead, the pain was slowly lessening, even so his eyes were clenched closed and his body was curled up. His breathing was deep and ragged; he could here it in his head over the laughter of those around him.

Voldemort knelt down next to him; it was the most attention Voldemort had paid him in nearly a month. Harry had quickly learnt that Voldemorts attention was never a positive thing. And yet an emotion stirred inside him at the renewed attention. A sort of longing. Harry pushed himself back onto his knees slowly. But looked away from Voldemort as shame mingled in with the rest of his confused pain. Voldemort was not Lily or James Potter; he was not Sirius or Dumbledore. He was a nasty, prejudiced, cruel murderer. He was everything Harry was afraid of becoming, was afraid he _was_ becoming.

"Are you jealous Harry?"

For a moment Harry was surprised Voldemort had used his name. Then the next he realised what he had asked him.

"_No_" he said and was shocked at how young and weak he sounded. Still refusing to look at Voldemort he pushed himself back away from the man whose presence was too much for him to cope with. His scar still burning he made it back only a few inches when Voldemorts hands griped his arms and dragged him closer.

"_Liar_" he hissed as Harry cried out in pain.

"You can not lie to me, I know what it is that you desire child" Voldemort said calmly a moment later as he released Harry who slumped forward, his bound hands only just preventing him from nose diving the ground.

"Do you wish to be my heir _Harry_?" he asked and a new wave of laughter filled the room.

Harry didn't answer, his head bowed away from Voldemort, his body shacking. He simply clenched his body still tighter together.

Suddenly Voldemorts hand had snaked out and grasped Harry's chin forcing his head up and around so that it was centimetres from Voldemorts.

"Look at me" he commanded.

Harry knew the punishment for not doing what the Dark Lord asked. For he had been commanded to do the same thing numerous times before. He had resisted at first, but quickly learnt it was easier for him to simply obey, the out come was the same either way. So still trembling, his scar burning (although it seemed Voldemort was trying to limit his pain at that moment at least) Harry raised his eyes to meet the terrifying red eyes.

A tear leaked out of his eye as the red eyes bore into his own "you want to be my heir don't you" he said almost gently.

Harry didn't answer, but his breathing became heavy and fast, like he was no longer in control. He was breathing faster and faster but could not seem to get enough air. "No" he whispered trying to get away from the man. "Nononononono" tears were now streaming from his face as he fought to break the hold Voldemort had on him.

"You want to be like a son to me don't you Harry Potter"

Using all of his strength he pushed his bound hands forward breaking Voldemorts hold of him but also sending himself falling backwards onto the stone floor. His head making a horrible crack as it hit. His breathing still quick, his head feeling fuzzy and pained he kicked out with his legs to propel him self further and further away. "NO" he screamed when two arms reached out and grabbed him and began dragging him back to where the Dark Lord was still kneeling. "NO" he cried out over and over "please" tears were falling fast now.

They held him still as Voldemort stared at Harry intently.

"Why?" Harry sobbed finally.

"Why what Harry?" the Dark Lord asked.

"Why?" he sobbed again and another wave of laughter filled the hall only to halt almost straight away as Voldemort lifted his hand for silence.

"Come now child, I can not answer your question if you do not ask it?" his tone sounded gentle again, and to an ignorant listener might have seemed caring. But Harry knew better, he knew that tone well.

"Why am I still alive?" he asked quietly, "why not just kill me?" he knew he sounded pathetic, he knew that those in the room would be smiling in triumph. But what did it matter any more? They had already won; he was already a murderer, with nowhere else to go. Dumbledore's fallen Hero, his broken weapon. Even as he had tried to escape he had known this. But anywhere (even Azkaban in his mind) had seemed better than here.

"Do you want to die Harry?" Voldemort asked then.

With his head still bowed Harry nodded. And it was the truth. There was nothing left for him any more. Only pain and guilt.

Harry felt himself sway, his breathing still quick. "You need to calm down," Voldemort said. But Harry could not. Suddenly Harry felt a great pressure in his brain, and with terror realised it was Voldemort, he tried to pull away from it but found he could not. Then he found himself calming, and realised with shock it was the Dark Lord. Lord Voldemort was forcing him to calm down. He found his breathing slow and his mind began to lose its fuzziness.

For a whole minute they stayed silent. The death eaters still watching silently. Voldemort's eyes however were solely on the boy before him. With a movement of Voldemorts hand Harry felt the death eater holding him release him.

"Join Me," Voldemort said finally "I can give you everything you ever wanted."

Harry's face morphed into a snarl for a moment before dropping back into despair "you took everything from me" he said still sounding like a broken child "you stole everything I ever wanted" he choked back a sob and raised his bound hands only to let them drop again.

"I can give it all back to you Harry. I can give you the family you have always craved but never had"

Harry started to sob, loud and pained with tears still streaming down his face "I can give you back your worth, the power and respect you deserve. The dignity that was denied to you by Dumbledore, the Ministry and those Muggles. You can have it all Harry" Voldemort reached across to the sobbing boy and brought him into his arms.

Harry found himself clutching onto his enemy, enveloped in his robes, with no pain in his scar. Just an intense feeling of comfort, all else around him faded.

"You can have your revenge Harry" Voldemort whispered in his ear.

'His revenge?' Harry wondered briefly.

"Against those who have hurt you"

'Revenge?' he felt confused but his sobbing had stopped. Like his pain had been banished from his mind.

"You could destroy them all"

'Revenge…' he was so comfortable and safe.

"Together we can make them pay"

'But I don't want to hurt any one else'

"They don't deserve your mercy"

'I'm in the arms of my enemy' his eyes widened suddenly, his heartbeat quickened.

"_Join me_"

"NO!" Harry suddenly yelled springing back away from his enemy.

Harry called on all the energy left his body and stood up on his shaking legs "I will never join you" he said calmly as Voldemort stood also his eyes hard and cold as he watched the boy "I _hate_ you" Harry said before he stumbled forward onto the ground clutching his head. His scar was erupting in pain, and this time he knew for sure, Voldemort was very angry.

"LLLIIIIEEERRRR" he screamed from where he lay.

"_Crucio_" Voldemort hissed.

Whatever pain Harry had been feeling from his scar was nothing compared to the pain he felt as he was placed under that curse. His body wrenched and twisted and he screamed but hardly noticed. But then it was over and he was left shaking and heaving on the ground.

Voldemort turned his back on the boy and sat back on his chair before fixing his eyes on Draco.

"What do you think Draco?" he asked as if nothing had happened.

Draco Malfoy walked over to were Harry lay a smug look on his face "brought back down to size Potter" he said "I'm in charge here, there's no Dumbledore. It's as it should have always been," he said.

"You're a fool" Harry bit out "just a pawn"

Malfoy's smirk turned to a scowl before he turned to look at Voldemort "I think he's right… why is he even alive?"

Voldemort smiled "you have my permission to Kill him if you want to" he said offhandedly.

Harry had always thought that if any one were to kill him it would be the Dark Lord himself, it seemed so wrong, and pointless to survive so long only to be killed by a skinny little schoolboy.

But as Harry looked up at the other boy he realised that was not how he was going to die, for Draco had turned slightly pale. "And make it so easy for him" he said suddenly "no I think we should keep him alive until he's begging me to kill him"

"Very well" Voldemort said evidently board and dismissed them.

Harry was grabbed again and led away back to his room leaving the watching death eaters behind. He was shoved inside and the bonds from his hands removed. The door was then locked behind him and he was left again on his own. Harry stared around. His room was something that had always troubled him. It was not a cell, but a beautiful room, with a large bed and several bookshelves filled with a selection of books. He had his own desk, a table and two chairs where he ate his meals, his own bathroom. A wardrobe filled with clothes finer than anything he had worn before.

He stood there where he had been shoved for several minutes then dropped to the floor and cried. He hadn't escaped. He had broken down over and over again in a hall full of death eaters and he had allowed him self to be manipulated by the Dark Lord again. He had promised him self it would never happen again. But there he had been in the arms of his enemy like he was being comforted by his own father. He felt disgusted by himself.

And again, the power Voldemort had over his feelings, his very thoughts had been painfully obvious. With out the strength to fight him any more Harry was very susceptible to the Dark Lords influence. It was only so long he realised until he did something unthinkable under Voldemorts influence and then there would be truly no turning back.

He had not been lying when he said he wanted to die. Death had to be better than becoming another puppet to Voldemort. He would never have considered it a possibility. But every day he spent here he learnt more about what a person would do if they had to. What a person could become with enough incentive and manipulation. Slowly Harry drifted of to sleep on the floor of his room until a clocked figure came in, lifted the freezing boy up, placed him on his bed and covered him with blankets before leaving just as quietly as he had come.

Harry awoke the next morning to Malfoy senior dragging him from his bed and tossing him into the bathroom. Harry hurried to have a shower and change, but paused briefly to look at himself in the mirror, he didn't even look like himself any more. How had things tuned out so bad? Everything had seemed so perfect that day; he almost smiled at the memory. Christmas at the Weasley's… He had been so happy then – until everything went wrong and left him in this nightmare. He had fought so hard, but everything had turned to ashes around him, and now he was nothing but a wreck. He had once been 'Harry Potter','the boy who lived' But that was nearly five months ago now…

_Harry circled their make shift Quidditch pitch in anticipation… he, Ron, Ginny and Fred were playing against Gorge, Percy, Bill and Charlie in what had turned out to be a surprisingly close game. The elder boys had expected to dominate immediately but instead both teams were neck in neck, Harry himself thought that Percy held them back a bit. He kept on yelling instructions to his brothers though he was the only member of their team who had never actually played Quidditch for a school team… _

* * *

Review Please.


	2. Chapter 2: The Kings Apprentice

**Kings and Pawns**

**Chapter 2: The Kings Apprentice**

* * *

Rated M just in case.

_Harry Potter does not belong to me._

This Story is dedicated to Jewl4Life

* * *

'_Sounds like wizards, if some ones not perfect its ok - just kill them, problem solved'_ Matt (The Legend of Harry Potter).

Harry Potters Diary

Entry One.

I don't really know how to start this. Everything turned to crap. Like always. Whenever things start looking up, everything gets taken away. Voldemort killing my parents, Sirius dieing, and then being captured. It always comes down to the same scum, the one that took everything he could from me. I will never fully understand why he wanted to torment me so much. Before I was captured I'd never even meet the man, unless you count when he tried to murder me as a baby, but I would hardly call that an introduction.

I'm supposed to write in this about _that_ part of my life, the blank part. I call it that because mostly I like to pretend that it never happened. Sometimes it works even. At times I can sit at the Gryffindor table with Ron and Hermione and for a while I forget. But it's never far behind me. It comes back to me in my dreams and with the right trigger flashes across my senses so that I will always know what I am.

I am writing in this diary because I promised Albus I would, and I prefer to keep my promises. I am currently a sort of prisoner. I say that because I am not allowed to leave, and when I am not kept locked in my room I must be supervised at all times. However I am back in my old room with all my boyhood treasures, and I am never left long locked up on my own (whether I want to be or not) and when out I can wonder freely enough, though with the knowledge I am being shadowed. Albus says this is not a permanent arrangement and eventually I will be allowed back into Gryffindor tower to enjoy the freedom I once had.

He does not trust me as he used to. But I don't expect him to. He is after all, very protective of his students. He would not put them in danger for anything, not even me. I am expecting him soon, which is good because he'll come in and see me writing in this and hopefully think it's a regular occurrence. He will be pleased; he'll think I'm getting better (his words not mine). I know he's worried about me, but he shouldn't be. He should be worried about my victims. Because they will never be getting better.

Here he is now. He doesn't think I've noticed him. Until latter.

The kings apprentice

* * *

_Harry circled their make shift Quidditch pitch in anticipation… he, Ron, Ginny and Fred were playing against Gorge, Percy, Bill and Charlie in what had turned out to be a surprisingly close game. The elder boys had expected to dominate immediately but instead both teams were neck in neck, Harry himself thought that Percy held them back a bit. He kept on yelling instructions to his brothers though he was the only member of their team who had never actually played Quidditch for a school team… _

Mr Weasley came wondering out of the Barrow; he looked like a small dot from where Harry was looking down for the snitch. But the collective groan of his friends brought his attention to the man whom was obviously waving for them to come inside. Harry didn't mind, Christmas dinner was ready and he loved Mrs Weasley's cooking.

It didn't take him long to land and join the others in the trek back to the house. Ginny was quick to fall in step beside him. He smiled side ways at her, her cheeks burned slightly red and she returned his smile. The slight red tinge in her cheeks suited her, he briefly thought of reaching out to take her hand, but stoped himself, 'she's my best friends little sister' he thought.

The group came to a sudden halt when Percy tripped up apparently on nothing and fell to the ground.

He pushed himself off the ground and turned to glare at the twins, opening his mouth wide, his finger in the air obviously about to speak when a collective popping noise filled the air, the sound of many people disapparating. Harry and the others spun around in surprise, there were anti-apparition wards placed around the burrow especially for Harry's visit. Exactly how the intruders had managed it didn't matter right then though as Harry fell to his knees clutching his scar.

Harry was barely aware of anything, there was movement and screams and flashes all around him, and then everything went black.

He was aware of talking, of the sound of some one weeping. A horrible headache. He was laying on something soft. Carefully he opened his eyes and sat up. He was on the couch in the lounge of the barrow; the room was filled with the Weasley's and their guests, Remus Lupin and Tonks. He tentatively touched his head, it was still aching. He yelped in surprise when the ground and walls shook. But no one noticed him, they were to busy looking out of the windows in horror.

"What if he can't get here in time" he heard Mrs Weasley sob. Mr Weasley was clutching his wife to him tightly.

"You can't talk like that"

A horrible high-pitched scream caused every one to wince, Harry noticed just how upset and shaken every one was. How terrified. The screaming continued sending Mrs Weasley into inconsolable sobbing in which she fought to get away from her husband and to the door.

"There's nothing we can do yet"

Still feeling weak and confused. His head pounding Harry stood up. The screaming outside had gone silent, but the residents of the barrow did not move themselves away from the window.

Slowly Harry walked forward, towards Ron's back. Frowning a bit he saw that is friend was shaking. The death eaters were obviously still there, but the wards on the house it self seemed to be holding.

Stepping up next to his friend he looked out into what was now darkness. He could see them, the white masks seemingly floating in the night. He felt a horrible shiver run through his body, they were vastly outnumbered, and even worse he knew that Voldemort was somewhere out there also.

And then further in the darkness, past where he could see the screaming started again, and it sounded familiar.

Turning again to look at everyone, his eyes fell one at a time on the Christmas day guests. Ron, the twins, Percy, Mr and Mrs Weasley, Bill, Charlie, Remus and Tonks. The screaming broke down into silence again. Where was Ginny?

"Ginny!" he felt him self shout, "where's Ginny"

Several eyes were on him then, sad, horrified eyes.

Pushing past them he rushed for the door only to be tackled "there's nothing you can do Harry" thrashing around he fought against the arms that held him, but they were so much stronger than him.

"GIVE ME HARRY POTTER OR THE GIRL DIES" a horrible voice boomed through the house.

Shaking Harry turning to see that it was Lupin that had tackled him and who now had a tight hand on his arm.

With tears in his eyes Harry looked into Lupins eyes "let me go" he said.

"No" the werewolf said squeezing still tighter. All eyes were now on the two, but no one moved.

Slowly Harry pulled his wand from his pocket and raised it up to Lupins face "let me go" he said again.

"No" Lupin said shaking his head "I wont let you do this Harry. Think about it, he's not going to let her go" there was another heart wrenching sob from Mrs Weasley "even if you do go out there"

"I have to try" Harry said "let go"

"I already told yo…"

"_I said_ LET GO!" Suddenly Lupin was thrown through the air by an invisible force into the opposite wall, which he hit hard, slowly sliding down the wall he fell unconscious still staring towards Harry.

Harry only stood for a moment looking at his Godfathers last friend in mild surprise.

Turning towards the door he opened it, It had grown dark quickly, he could see the floating masks staring at him, terror filled him but he bit it down. Turning he looked one last time at the occupants of the barrow, Tonks was at Lupin's side, with tears in her eyes. The others were just looking at him, none of them made any move to stop him. It was like none of them could make up there minds. And then before they could decide he was gone.

He closed the door behind him and walked out into the cold night air. The white masks surrounded him showing him the way. The pain in his scar grew and grew. The death eaters made no move to grab him; instead they just walked beside him to his doom. Never saying a thing to him. He moved slowly hoping that his surrender would save Ginny, but stalling long enough would save them both.

He knew that Voldemort was most likely going to kill him. He would want to finish what he had started all of those years ago. He had always suspected that this day would come.

He just hadn't expected it to be so soon. He was only thirteen years of age. He felt far to young to die. Closing his eyes briefly he hoped that Dumbledore would hurry up. His life now depended on his guardian's untimely arrival.

Stepping down onto the very same field they used as a quidditch pitch Harry stifled a gasp and stumbled. The stabbing in his scar was becoming unbearable.

Taking it as slowly as he could he found himself drawing closer to the dark shadow that stood waiting for him, terrible red eyes watching his every step.

Then he saw her on the dirt at Voldemort's feet, curled into a ball sobbing. All thoughts of stalling left his mind as he ran forward and cradled her in his arms.

"I'm sorry" her shaking voice managed.

"No" Harry said, "This is all my fault"

Gasping he clenched his eyes closed as pain enveloped him.

"Harry Potter" the monster beside him said triumphantly "the boy who _lived_"

Suddenly arms grabbed him and wrenched him away from his friend.

Before Harry knew what was happening there was a flash of green light and an unearthly scream as the killing curse hit little Ginny Weasley killing her almost instantly.

"NOOOOOOO" he screamed fighting to free himself "YOU SAID YOU'D LET HER GO" and finding himself suddenly free he rushed forward to scoop her lifeless body back into his arms. It was obvious that she was dead, for she hung limply in his arms, her head lulled to the side. Her lifeless eyes staring off at nothing.

She shook in his arms and for a moment Harry hoped that maybe she had survived just as he had once. But soon he realised it was his own sobbing that was causing her body to tremble.

A sudden powerful hate pulsed through his body as he gently placed her on the ground. Standing calmly, wiping the blood from his scar Harry turned to face Voldemort. His wand in his hand.

Voldemort was watching Harry with an interest that only fuelled Harry's hate, raising his wand; the torture spell in his mind looking into the eyes of his enemy Harry began the spell "curic…" But Harry never got to finish, Voldemort was quicker and Harry found him-self thrown onto the ground his wand gone from his hand.

Pushing himself back up to his feet, Harry knew it was hopeless. His body still shaking he was standing before the most powerful dark lord for centuries and he was wandless and alone. Even worse was the small red haired body laying just meters from him.

"Did you really think you stood a chance against me Harry" Voldemort said before looking down at the dead body of the Weasley girl. "Of corse not –" he said and took several strides to where the body lay "you did it to save her didn't you" he kicked her body over "pathetic" he spat.

Harry was barely aware of what he was doing as he charged madly at the evil man. The man quickly over powered him, even as he swung with all his might. He found Voldemort's arms wrapped around him and his scar exploded with pain so horrible that it blocked out nearly every other sensation even the intense squeezing of apparition, but then he found himself on the ground, gasping for breath, tears streaming from his face, he was exhausted, to weak to lift his head or pay attention to the orders being given by his greatest enemy, Harry greeted the blackness of unconsciousness readily.

* * *

Harry opened his eyes. It was dark. His entire body ached. Pushing himself up he could see nothing but darkness. He ran his hands over the cold hard stones beneath him and the events of the night before came back in a horrible rush, quickly he squeezed his eyes closed in desperation pushing away the memories as hard as he could, grasping at the rough ground with his nails.

And then the weight of his predicament hit him, terrified he felt his way to a wall and followed it to another and then another still before he found his hands grasp on to cold metal bars which stretched from the ground to beyond his reach. Even though he could feel that they were just centimetres away he could not see them, the darkness was too thick. He did not know how long he had been unconscious and so did not know if it should be night or day.

Finding a corner he slid down and rested his back against the wall. He could not help but wonder why Voldemort had not killed him yet. He knew the possibility the he wished to keep him for information was very real. But he knew nothing that could help Voldemort since he was not yet considered old enough to join the order.

Harry knew it was only so long before either death eaters or Voldemort himself came for him. Clutching his body tightly to himself Harry waited. It was like walking out the door of the Barrow all over again. Every noise seemed amplified to him, he kept wondering wether he could hear footsteps. His relief at still being left alone only lasted for moments before his tension once again grew. His stomach was soon cramping horribly and his breathing was erratic.

Realising that if he did not calm himself he might lose control, he focused on evening out his breathing. When he had a steady rhythm once again established he knew the best thing he could do was to focus on something else, otherwise the waiting could break him. So he focused his mind on potions.

Though potions were definitely not his favourite subjects, it was the best choice he knew for the sort of thing he needed. He could create the potion in his mind, putting in each ingredient, and following each of the steps. He did not have a perfect memory so when he got stuck he used up time stoping to think through each step. It turned into an almost fun game of problem solving. 'Snape would be proud' he thought with some real amusement and for a while he became so absorbed in his game that the knowledge of where he was and what might happen to him settled in to the back of his mind for a small time.

It might have been because of this that Harry did not at first notice the chill that was filling his dungeon prison. But a shrill scream brought him back quickly. There was a thin sheen of ice growing over the floor and Harry lifted his hands to warm under his armpits. It only took a moment longer for Harry's breath to hitch in his throat. Dementors.

"No, Not Harry!"

"Please, take me instead"

"Not Harry!"

The voice of his mother was sobbing, begging with the horrible monster for his life.

It lifted its wand "NO!" Harry screamed.

"Avada Kedavra"

"NO! Please no" Harry watched his mother's lifeless body fall to the ground.

Was this going to be how Voldemort would destroy him? Harry wondered as he clutched his head in his hands trying to fight the memories, which were coming back with more clarity than they should have. But even with his hands over his ears he could here her screaming, and even with his hands over his eyes he could see her dead body.

Were the Dementors here to give him the kiss? The cruellest destruction. With new horror he clenched his hands over his mouth giving up on his ears and eyes.

"Run!" his godfathers voice echoed all around him.

"No, not you too" Harry sobbed to himself as he felt his way along the wall, he had to get away, although in the darkness surrounded by the cold and screams of those he loved he could not tell if he were moving away or closer to the disgusting emptiness of the Dementors.

"Run! Run!" the screams were horrible, terrible.

Harry turned back; he couldn't stand to run away any longer, what were they doing to his godfather?

Using his wand to blow away the smoke, following the screams each one sending pain into his chest Harry finally came to the group of Aurors and screamed.

Then Harry could see and here nothing. His body fell limply to the stone ground.

* * *

"Sirius?"

His Godfather was doing that thing again, when he stared ahead like he wasn't even there.

"Sirius?" he said shaking his arm.

His Godfathers empty face turned to look at him, recollection suddenly stirred in them "Harry! What are you doing still up?"

"I was worried about you"

Sirius considered him for a moment "let me do the worrying cub" standing up wearily he took Harry's hand and led him back to his bedroom "you should have been asleep ages ago, you have a big day tomorrow"

"Do I really have to go back to school?"

Sirius picked up the boy and lifted him into his bed before sitting down next to him "we've been over this a hundred times…"

"Have not"

"You know what I mean"

Harry looked away from his Godfather.

"Look, its not going to be like your old school, there will be no Dudley there and if anything, _anything_ at all happens tell me and I'll sort it out faster than you can say padfoot"

Harry nodded but didn't seem convinced "listen Harry, I wont let any one hurt you, if anything and I mean anything happens I want you to tell me"

"Why are you sad?" Harry asked turning his emerald green eyes back to Sirius.

"I'm – it's complicated"

"You miss my mum and dad"

Sirius closed his eyes "yes" but then he found a small hand in his.

"You have me now though, I'm your family now"

Sirius opened his eyes and smiled "yes you are"

"I hope that you don't die too"

The smile left Sirius's face and Harry turned away again "I'm not going anywhere cub"

"How do you know?"

"I'm not going any where"

"Do you promise?"

"You don't have to worry, I'm not going anywhere"

"Promise?"

"Go to sleep"

"Yes but promise?"

"Harry!"

"Promise!" Harry's pleading eyes looked up at him.

"I Promise – now go to sleep"

"Ok, good night Sirius"

"Night pup"

* * *

**Authors Note:**

Seacilin: thanks for your review. I agree completely… I did leave it like that. I hadn't noticed until you said something…

Thank you PleiadesWolfe, Pithy, proof, petalpixie, Werewolf777 and ebil angel for your reviews.

I hope i didnt confuse any one. chapter one is in the middle of this story, this chapter has gone back to the start. The part at the end of this chapter is a memory from the past. There should not be to many of them in this story though.


	3. Chapter 3: Saved By Darkness

**Kings and Pawns**

**Chapter 3: Saved By Darkness**

* * *

_I do not own Harry Potter._

* * *

I'm a murderer

A killer with no remorse

The dead cry out for vengeance

But their cries are all in vain

I may be just a boy

But I never learned to play

I was born to fear and hate

I dreamed of being a child one day

I used to be a hero

A saviour to the world

I breathed in hope

And bled out love

I dreamed of being hugged

But now I am a murderer

Destined to live in death

And hide in dark escapes

I wanted to know the truth

But now I prefer lies

Dark and safe and hidden

Like the evil that lives inside

I know what I've become

I can see it in your eyes

It's reflected like a mirror

The red in my green eyes

* * *

Harry Potter's Diary

Entry two.

I can still remember my first days as Voldemort's captive. But looking back its like seeing some one else's memories through my own eyes. I'm not the same person who walked out of the Borrow to save Ginny. If I could go back and do it all a second time, there is so much I would change. For a start I wouldn't take a single step out that door. I should have listened to Lupin. There was nothing I could do for her. She was dead the moment she was before Voldemort.

Perhaps then I would not have become the person I am today. There are some parts that I admire about the new me. I'm stronger for a start. I'm able to do what has to be done in order to survive. But I'm also able to kill.

The screams of my first victim will remain with me until the day I die. His tear stained face, the way he turned his eyes towards me with hope. As if I would save him. Hope that left his face when his eyes locked with mine. He knew in that instant that he was going to die. And that it would be me; his only hope who would do it. My victims deserve vengeance, but there is no one who can give it to them. I know how to survive and I will kill again if I have to. I am not the boy hero of the wizarding world any longer.

I am what Voldemort made me, a killer, a weapon- his apprentice. I know that you will read this old man. I hope that it will be sooner rather than later. You need to get over your loss. You're Harry Potter is dead; get over it and stop trying to manipulate me. I'm a killer and it's time you faced the truth.

I am a very real danger to your students and you should never have brought me back here.

The Kings Apprentice.

* * *

Harry lay upon a bed, moaning he twisted and turned, plagued again by the nightmare of that horrible day five years earlier.

He reached out his arm to grasp onto something, but there was nothing there.

His eyes flew open.

"Sirius!" He yelled and sat bolt upright.

Taking several deep breaths he looked around dazed. Where was he?

He was in a large comfortable bed with dark blue blankets, which stood in the centre of a good-sized bedroom with several large bookshelves, a huge wardrobe, a desk and a small table. He pushed the blankets off himself and dropped his feet on the hard ground.

This did not look like Hogwarts; there were subtle differences in the stonework and the style in which it was decorated. It was something that only a person who had spent a long period of there lives there might have noticed. Harry had lived at Hogwarts ever since his godfather's death when he was eight years old. For five years he had been under the guardianship of Dumbledore and the school, he knew Hogwarts well.

He rubbed his head trying to remember how he had ended up on a strange bed in a strange place, but his mind was blank. Standing up he walked over to one of the two doors, it opened up to reveal a plain bathroom. But it held no further clues as to where he was. Turning he left the bathroom and approached the only other door, it was the larger of the two and had an intricate design engraved around its boarder of phoenix's living and burning and rising again. Grasping the handle he turned it. Nothing happened. He tried again tugging hard, but it would not budge. It was locked. A cool chill went through his body. His hands fell to the pocket in which he would usually store his wand but found it was not there.

It was at that point that he realised that he was wearing pyjamas and not just that but the pyjamas he was wearing were not his own. They were green which he very rarely wore simply because he was a loyal Gryffindor. The material was amazingly soft, he did not know much about cloth, but he could tell just by its touch that the material was expensive. He frowned as he looked down at his feet. The pyjamas were not too short or too tall. They fitted perfectly. Some one had gone to a lot of trouble.

Harry returned to the bedside table in the hopes of finding his wand. It wasn't there. He pulled open the small draw but that too was empty. As every moment went by his fear grew. His scar suddenly burned and Harry clutched onto it. Wherever he was Voldemort was pleased about something – Voldemort.

Harry backed up and sat back on the bed. Voldemort. He could suddenly feel his heart beating against his chest. Something had happened. Something bad. "I hurt Moony" he said suddenly, he could see the man who was like an uncle leaning against the wall limply in the Borrow. Guilt surged inside him. "Why did I hurt him?" A horrible scream "Ginny" he said. White masks floating in the dark. "No" he said. Voldemort.

Harry rushed forward with his hands feeling around the walls. There were no windows. Turning back to the door he found himself attacking it with all his might. He needed to know where he was. What was happening? Was Ginny ok? But he could see her, dead in his arms. He needed to get out. He flung him self against the door but it didn't budge. Turning he ran back into the bathroom his hands searched the walls, he moved into the shower and pounded against the back walls. Returning to the bedroom he flung open the wardrobe. With out a second thought he tore the clothes from their hangers and tossed them out of his way. He clambered in and pounded on the back of the wardrobe. "This isn't Hogwarts," he said out loud, as stupid as it sounded it helped to here his own voice. "There are no secret passageways – its not like Hogwarts". He was trapped. His Scar burned again.

"Dementors" he said to himself "there were dementors".

Turning back around he stepped back out of the wardrobe; he looked down at his bear feet. He was standing upon the clothes, which were spread out over the floor in varying shades of black, blue and green. Confusion did not quite seem the adequate word for his situation. He had been locked up in a dark place with dementors, his mother had been screaming, he had no way to escape them and then... And now here he was in a nice room, with expensive clothing. Was he dead? Was this heaven? He glanced around the room again, 'it couldn't be' he thought 'Sirius isn't here – my parents aren't here'. His scar burned again. He wasn't dead. Some one must have saved him from the dementors.

His scar burnt again, this time with more intensity. He absentmindedly brought his hand up to rub it, jumping a moment later at the sound of the door behind him, twisting around he watched with growing horror as it swung open to reveal Voldemort. His heart was so loud he felt as though it were pounding on his eardrums. He took a step back as the man dressed from head to toe in black stepped through the door (which closed behind him with the mere twitch of his finger). For the first moment he surveyed the room, his eyes lingering momentarily on the clothing under Harry's feet.

Harry's scar was burring quite badly now that he was in the dark lords presence, but he was determined not to let his pain show. Forcing his knees back to steady his legs he tried to stand as straight as possible, squaring out his shoulders and looking directly at the frightening presence that was Voldemort. Harry swallowed when the crimson eyes finally landed on him.

"Welcome to my home" Voldemort said calmly, though calm his voice sounded as dangerous as ever. It commanded power even at its gentlest. And if anything Harry found the calmness in the creatures voice even more unsettling. Harry knew what it meant; he was in Voldemort's territory now. Even Dumbledore could not reach him here.

"If you're going to kill me then you might as well do it. I don't know anything about the order," Harry said. He was surprised at how steady his voice sounded. He felt terrified, his body was shaking, but he just hoped that Voldemort couldn't see that from where he stood. His red eyes stayed fixed on Harry with such intensity that Harry found himself looking away.

"Brave words, but pointless – I do not intend to kill you" Voldemort said his eyes narrowing as the fear that oozed from the boy was overshadowed by the intensity of his anger.

"I don't understand," Harry said.

Voldemort took a step forward towards the child, Harry took a step back. But it did not make any difference the Dark Lord continued to step forward and the pain in Harry's scar continued to grow even as he stepped back again and again until he had no where left to go.

Voldemort slowly closed the gap between himself and the boy who was shaking with fear despite the brave front he was putting on. Reaching out his hand he grabbed Harry's face, whose eyes immediately scrunched up in pain while he cried out and tried to jerk away from the man he hated the most in the world.

"So vulnerable" Voldemort said to himself holding steadily to Harry's face, he watched with pleasure as the boy struggled to free himself, he was so helpless. He let go and the boy fell forward gasping. Voldemort observed Harry for a moment more before turning to leave.

"What do you want?" Harry asked shakily as he pushed himself back up to his feet.

But the Dark Lord ignored him heading towards the door as calmly as he had entered.

"Why am I here?" Harry asked the retreating back as it reached the door. But Voldemort did not slow down.

It appeared to Harry that the man had shown up simply to play with his mind, and now that Harry was suitably tormented he was bored with him. Harry was afraid - it was true; he had never been more terrified in all his life. But he was a Gryffindor for a reason. And he was angry; he was in the same room as the man who had murdered his parents, the man who was responsible for his being sent to the Dursleys, responsible for Sirius's imprisonment and eventual death. The man who had killed Ginny Weasley with out a second thought, and he, Harry had done nothing.

"Are you deaf Tom?" Harry asked recklessly.

The Dark Lord halted and Harry suddenly regretted saying anything as the pain in his scar increased so much it made him gasp. The Dark Lord turned around his crimson eyes burning with anger as he looked at the boy. Harry suddenly understood why Voldemort's followers were always so quick to kneel before the man. His power radiated through the air like cold ice and sent shivers through Harry's body.

Harry swallowed and plastered himself against the wall. He had known fear in his life, but this was different. It wasn't simply fear, it was darkness, and it flowed from the man, reaching out to Harry making him feel as though he needed to be sick. He felt pathetic as he lowered his eyes before Voldemort.

The next thing he knew he was on the ground convulsing, and needing it to end at any cost. It was agony. There was a loud sound in his ears. He was being tortured – ripped apart piece by piece all at once. And then it was over.

He tried to move but only managed an inch before he collapsed back onto the ground. He was lying on his back; the burning in his scar seemed far away now as if the pain was somewhere separate from himself.

Had Voldemort left? He wondered hopefully. But then _they_ were there, those blood red eyes staring down at him. His breath hitched in his throat and he forced his limbs into action. It took everything he had to make his shaking weak limbs obey his commands. He stood up and turned to face Voldemort.

Voldemorts eyes were still blazing back at him, his presence had not diminished at all, and Harry wondered briefly whether Voldemort would now kill him. But when the dark lord opened his mouth it was to speak calmly once again, despite the air around him, which was still frozen and oppressive. "I will return later, there are things I wish to discuss with you," he said before he turned to leave. Pausing briefly at the door he looked over his shoulder at Harry who was still standing as strait as his body would allow, "I suggest that you choose your words more wisely from now on, I do not tolerate disrespect from any one, you are fortunate that I do not wish you wrecked"

And with that he left the room, locking the door behind him and leaving Harry to collapse to the ground.

* * *

"What are we going to do?" Remus asked, "if he's still alive…"

"_If _being the operative word – and if he is, which I find highly unlikely - we first need to know where he is before we try rushing to his rescue" Snape said.

"And you know who hasn't said anything?" Mr Weasley asked.

"The dark lord hasn't seen fit to include me on his plans concerning the boy"

There was a horrible empty silence in the room; the people present had been having the same conversation for the last hour. They had been repeating the same points, asking the same questions. They all wanted to feel as though they were doing what they could. But finally it seemed there was no point, there was nothing more they could say. The only thing they could do now was wait in the hopes that Voldemort would reveal something to Snape.

"So that's it then? You're all just going to give up on him?" Ron asked from where he sat with Hermione.

"Ron…" Mr Weasley said.

"No dad. We've already lost Ginny and now we're going to let him have Harry too? I thought that was what this group did! Fight against you know who – and now he's kidnapped 'the boy who lived' and you're all just going to sit around and do _nothing. _Harry would never have given up on any of you"

Dumbledore raised his downcast head to watch the boy as he stood up and touched his friend's shoulder "come on Hermione, lets go see if there is anything else we can do"

But she did not move "come on Hermione" he said more forcefully.

"There's no point Ron" she finally replied dejectedly "they're right, there's nothing more we can do now but wait"

Ron dropped his hand from her shoulder "Cowards" he said angrily before marching from the room "I'm going to do something to help Harry, if any one else wants to help I'll be in the library" he yelled from the hall before ascending the steps of Grimmauld place.

Dumbledore let his head drop again.

* * *

Once the dark Lord had left Harry had rested to regain as much strength as he could before the dark Lords inevitable return. With some of his strength returned he had a shower and picking out something as un-slytherin as he could from the wardrobe got dressed before collapsing on his bed again, feeling almost as exhausted as he had to start with. Unfortunately it was then that Voldemort decided to return. Harry rolled off the bed quickly and stood and faced Voldemort with as much strength as he could summon.

"Sit" Voldemort said having stalked across the room and taken a seat at the small table.

Harry, who was finding it difficult to remain standing, did not fight the order. After all he reasoned he was sitting because _he_ wanted to and not because of the foul creature that insisted on torturing him. He walked over and sat down opposite his enemy and waited. Perhaps Voldemort would finally tell him why he was there.

"Do you know who you are?" Voldemort asked the Gryffindor boy opposite him once Harry had taken his seat.

Harry frowned "What?"

Voldemort glanced at the only portrait in the room; in it was a woman who was not physically beautiful in any way, she had lank hair and a lumpy face with eyes that were turned in odd directions. She smiled sadly back at him when he looked at her.

"I'm Harry Potter," the boy said stupidly.

"Names can be changed, titles withdrawn and given. Your name is _nothing_," Voldemort hissed.

"Is that why you changed yours then?" Harry asked.

Voldemort narrowed his eyes at the boy "how much pain are you in?" he asked.

Harry was exhausted, aching all over and his head felt as though it had been run over by a logging truck.

"Not much" he said.

"And your scar?"

Now that Harry thought about it his scar wasn't hurting, burning or… anything. He turned his surprised eyes back to the most feared wizard to have ever walked the earth.

"That can change _my_ young charge" Voldemort said.

Harry's eyes blazed back at Voldemort "Albus Dumbledore is my guardian".

Voldemort laughed, a short but mocking laugh "I always get what I want Harry"

"Somehow I can't see Dumbledore signing me over to _you_"

"I am not bound by the laws of the land. I am above them, if I wish you to be under my authority then I will simply take you and say that it is so"

Harry held back several scathing remarks and settled instead with glaring angrily at the wall.

"There is no escaping your destiny" Voldemort continued, "Eventually you will bend to my will"

Harry felt his chest restrict almost painfully. His hands felt clammy at his sides.

"I won't," he said defiantly.

Pain shot through his scar and he leaned forward clutching at it. It lasted for a few moments before fading; he looked up at the Dark Lord whose eyes locked with his.

"I will _never_ follow you" Harry bit out "I can't stop you from doing what ever it is you have planned for me, but I can control what _I _do"

"Idealistic words- Dumbledore's I assume" Voldemort hissed out the old mans name with disgust.

"Sirius Black's" Harry replied.

"Ah yes" the snake man smiled "my loyal spy"

"Don't talk about him!" Harry growled out, his head throbbing with suppressed anger "he would _never_ follow you".

Suddenly Voldemort stood up and rounded the table towards Harry.

"Never say never Harry, perhaps you did not know Sirius Black like you thought"

Harry ignored the comment in favour of keeping his gaze locked with the wall as Voldemort leaned very close to him.

"Look at me" The dark lord said.

Harry continued to stare at the wall.

"It must hurt" Voldemort said quietly sending shivers down Harry's spine "all those innocent people who are dead _because of you_"

Harry clenched his jaw at the sudden sting in his eyes.

A hard hand grasped his face; through the explosion of pain in his forehead he could feel the monsters breath on his cheek "_Murderer_" Voldemort whispered "how many more will have to die before you submit to me?"

Still grasping Harry's face Voldemort dragged him off the chair and tossed him to the ground "Crucio!"

The pain was terrible, he wanted to die. He was burning. He was screaming and he could not stop it. He had lost control of his body in the throws of pain that gripped him. And then it was over. And he was wet. Even in his current state he felt embarrassment sweep over him.

He felt a sting in his eyes again but fought against it. He would not cry. He would not give in to the monster who's snake like chuckling reached him, filling him with anger again.

He Looked away from the man; his head fell to the side, his gaze locking with the blue blankets that were dropping over the side of the king size bed. It didn't make any sense. A nice room just for torture.

He felt his clothing become dry and knew that the dark lord must have been responsible.

And then he was screaming again and the dark lord was next to him grasping at his face, causing his scar to explode with pain. He felt himself struggling wildly, his hands shot out and grasped Voldemort's arms trying to wrench them from him. But he was no match for the man.

"I gave you an order Harry," Voldemort's annoyed voice said as Harry flailed about. "I told you to look at me"

Harry did not want to obey Voldemort; it made him feel sick and pathetic to even contemplate it. But this order filled him with a peculiar amount of anxiety as well. He hated looking at Voldemort, especially his eyes; he felt each time like a piece of himself was scratching at his mind to escape.

Harry clenched his jaw and closed his eyes.

"No" he said and was horrified when it came out as a whimper.

Pain again exploded in his scar and he found his eyelids opening on there own accord. They pulled back until they were opened wide, and the scarlet eyes of his enemy were mere inches from his own. His heart was beating hard against his chest "no" he whimpered again.

Terror squeezed his chest tight as a foreign pressure entered his mind. Pushing painfully in his head, he tried to bring up his hands but found that he could not move them. His breathing began to get quick, and still the red eyes did not leave his. Then Voldemort's pupils suddenly dilated and the painful pressure became to intense and he couldn't cope any more...

...

His grubby clothes hung loosely from his skinny body. He was standing at the door to the kitchen watching his uncle, aunt and cousin eating ice cream and playing board games. He felt a pained feeling in his lungs, and swallowed hard trying to find the words he wanted to use.

But then Dudley's eyes fell on him and a smiled filled his face. Harry suddenly regretted coming out of this cupboard, but he knew it would do no good to turn back now that he had been seen.

"What do _you_ want?" Dudley asked drawing his Mum and Dads attention to Harry as well.

Harry felt all there eyes on him; he could feel their disgust.

Hesitantly Harry looked up at his Aunt whose lips had turned up as if she was looking at something unpleasant.

"Can I please have some ice cream?" his quiet voice asked. shifting from foot to foot he glanced at their faces.

"Please?" he added again.

"You disobedient, ungrateful little brat!" his Aunt hissed standing up, Harry clenched his hands and rapped them around himself "I told you to stay in your cupboard!" she stalked over to him and grabbed hold of his arm so tightly it hurt then dragged him back to the cupboard before flinging him down onto his mattress.

Harry lay where he had been tossed, on the thin mattress on the floor of the cupboard, his head was leaning against the wall, which it had hit as he had fallen, it ached but he dared not move.

Then his aunt began screaming in her horrible shrill voice "This is our family day" she paused sucking in a breath, a tear evident in the corner of her eyes "the one day a week we have time to spend together as a family" she wiped the tears from her cheeks, her voice breaking up slightly, "selfish, selfish little boy! Your lucky Vernon doesn't give you a smack" she said turning away from him and his cupboard she stood still as if regaining her composure, turning back she closed the cupboard door firmly "don't leave the cupboard again or Vernon will deal with you".

Harry stayed where he was, listening to her retreating footsteps and renewed laughter in the kitchen, sitting up he rested his back against the wall and covered his ears trying to block out the life that he wanted with every shred of his being...

...

Harry had been allowed to have a shower with hot water. He usually had his cold showers on Fridays. He sniffed his skin, which smelled of lavender, his aunt had also given him permission to use the family's soap. He looked at himself in the steamed up mirror, which sat upon the top of the sink. He did not know when he had grown tall enough to see into it but he felt proud that he had. He patted down his hair as neatly as he could. And looked at his clothes, that were folded up on the ground where his aunt had placed them when they had come out of the dryer.

He kneeled on the floor next to them and ran his hands over them; grasping them in his hands he sniffed them. They didn't smell clean, but some of the stench had definitely been taken off. He sat down and pulled on his pants, tying them up with the piece of string his aunt had kindly placed next to them.

He hoped that things would always be like this. His blanket in his cupboard had also been cleaned. He pulled his shirt on and wondered down stairs. His aunt had said he didn't have to do chores today. He wasn't sure what to do at first (he had never had so much free time before) so he returned to his cupboard.

But slowly he sunk into a story, about knights and villains and fighting against evil. He went from room to room on his adventure. At first he had frozen when his aunt had entered a room where he was, but she ignored him instead of screaming and grabbing him so he happily continued on his way with a growing sense of joy that was building up in his chest.

At lunchtime his aunt called him into the kitchen, led him to the table and helped him up onto the chair. He was never aloud to sit at the table and he smiled brightly enjoying the gentle contact with his aunt. She placed in front of him proper sandwiches with cheese and ham, and instead of water he got milk.

He smiled at his aunt and said "thank you". She nodded and turned back to the sink where she was washing the dishes. Harry ate all of the food, trying to do it slowly and nicely as to make his aunt proud. He felt full half way through but made himself finish. He knew his aunt hated wasting food.

He finished his lunch and helped his aunt dry the dishes. She stood next to him drying them as well and Harry smiled up at her even though she didn't look at him she was standing close to him as if he wasn't gross.

After lunch he was aloud to continue with his games until dinnertime. He didn't get to eat at the table for that but his aunt gave him some of what the rest of the family had. He smiled at her brightly and thanked her. She paused this time instead of simply nodding "its ok" she said before turning and rushing away from him. She had spoken to him in a kind manner and he could feel it fill him up.

He helped again with the drying standing next to his aunt. His cousin and uncle were in the lounge watching TV. He enjoyed the alone time he was getting with her. He looked up at her.

"Aunt Petunia?" he asked timidly.

"What?" she asked with the gentleness she had been using all day.

"Where are my mum and dad?" he asked.

She turned her head down towards him and there eyes made contact. It felt strange to Harry; barely any one ever looked him in the eye. She placed her tea towel down and her bottom lip began to tremble. Harry took a small step back.

She stared at him intently for several moments, and Harry thought for a while she was just going to ignore the question like usual.

But then she leaned forward and grabbed his arms painfully shaking him; he could for the first time smell her breath. His aunt never smelt of alcohol, usually it was his uncle who had a glass of wine with his food. But she smelt strongly of the stuff, her face was red and he could see that her eyes were bloodshot.

She shook him hard lifting him from the ground and then the yelling started "_do you know what day it is!_" Harry whimpered but didn't answer, frightened by her behaviour "_well!_"

He shook his head violently "well I'll tell you should I!" then she leaned in very close, so that his face got wet with her spit "it's the day your mother died! You here me! Your parents are _dead_" and with that she let go of him, letting him stumble on his feet while she stormed out of the room. He felt his chest heaving, felt his legs give way as the understanding of what she had said sunk into his mind.

The rest of that night the three Dursley's had continued on as if nothing had happened. Ignoring Harry as he lay on the kitchen tiles crying. His head was sore, and his throat strangely raw although he could not remember screaming. By the time he had picked him self up off the ground and walked back to his cupboard the rest of his family had long since gone to bed...

...

He was lying on the dirt, surrounded by his classmates as they spat on him and wiped their snot on his face. There were tears running down his cheeks as they hit out and kicked him. They were all round him; there was nothing he could do…

...

A big black dog was chasing him and he ran into a man in a strange black cape…

...

Ashley took a step back further away from Harry "I don't like _Him_" she said angrily "he's a stinky freak". "Stinky freak! Stinky freak" the other girls chorused. Harry just stood there for a moment. It took him a moment to fully register what Ashley had said. His only friend ever had called him a freak. Turning he started to walk in the direction of the road. It hurt somewhere in his stomach but he couldn't pin point exactly where. It hardly mattered. No one loved him. No one wanted him. He was dumb, he was smelly, he was ugly and weird and a freak. He felt tears on his face, which was hot…

...

Thick smoke surrounded him; it filled his nostrils and burnt his throat. He choked. "Sirius?" he cried, "Where are you?" "Run!" He heard Sirius's voice and ran blindly towards it. He could feel the heat of the fire. But he had to find Sirius…

...

"I hope that you don't die too". The smile left Sirius's face and Harry turned away again "I'm not going anywhere cub" "How do you know?" "I'm not going any where" "Do you promise?"…

...

"Sirius!" he called again. He could see shapes appear in the think smoke. He could here screaming. "Sirius?" There was laughter. Terrible laughter mingling with harass screaming… Sirius's screams…

...

"You don't have to worry, I'm not going anywhere" "Promise?" "Go to sleep" "Yes but promise?" "Harry!"…

...

He coughed and tried to cover his mouth with his shirt. He could see the hazy forms getting closer; a jolt of terror filled him. Then he heard it. That spell. The one that was meant to kill. "NO!" he screamed running forward. Running towards the green light…

...

"Promise!" Harry's pleading eyes looked up at him. "I Promise – now go to sleep" "Ok, good night Sirius" "Night pup"…

...

"Ginny!" he felt him self shout, "where's Ginny"…

...

"GIVE ME HARRY POTTER OR THE GIRL DIES" a horrible voice boomed through the house…

...

_I said_ LET GO!" Suddenly Lupin was thrown through the air by an invisible force into the opposite wall, which he hit hard, slowly sliding down the wall he fell unconscious still staring towards Harry…

...

"NOOOOOOO" he screamed fighting to free himself "YOU SAID YOU'D LET HER GO" and finding himself suddenly free he rushed forward to scoop her lifeless body back into his arms. It was obvious that she was dead, for she hung limply in his arms, her head lulled to the side. Her lifeless eyes staring off at nothing…

...

Harry did not at first notice the chill that was filling his dungeon prison. But a shrill scream brought him back quickly. There was a thin sheen of ice growing over the floor and Harry lifted his hands to warm under his armpits. It only took a moment longer for Harry's breathe to hitch in his throat. Dementors. "No, Not Harry!" "Please, take me instead".

* * *

Harry opened his eyes, there were tears streaming from his face, he didn't know exactly what Voldemort had just done to him, but he knew he never wanted it to happen to him again.

Voldemort was still holding on to him, his eyes scanning Harry's face, a small frown creased his forehead.

"Get away" Harry managed but he was ignored.

Harry cried out in anger when he was suddenly lifted into his enemy's arms and carried (despite his struggles) to the bed.

He was placed there with his head on the pillow in an almost gentle way. His enemy's hand brushed some of his fringe away from his face and slipped his glasses off.

Voldemort stood there for a few more moments, his eyes meeting Harry's briefly before Harry looked away.

"Sleep" The man said.

Harry found his eyes becoming heavier and heavier, he could not fight it even though he tried. The last thing he heard was the sound of the door opening and then he was asleep.

* * *

Authors note:

**Pithy**: thank you very much for your reviews. I hope that Voldemort remains evil enough for you and Harry anti Voldemort enough. It always frustrates me when I read a story where either Voldemort is not as evil as you expect him to be, or Harry just starts following him for no good reason whilst conveniently forgetting what Voldemort has done to him and those he loves. Voldemort is evil! And it makes things so much more interesting that way.

**Werewolf777**: Thank you for your reviews.

**Petalpixie**: Thank you for your review.

**ebil angel**: thank you for your review.

**Emriel**: Thank you for your review and advice. I am trying to remember that when I update. I'm not exactly sure how to go about that…

**PleiadesWolfe**: "I would just like to know how close does this follow to the actually story line. What are the similarities? Because if he is living with his Godfather and Voldemort took him when he was 13 there are differences. So how long did Voldemort have Harry before Dumbledore got him back?"

First of all thanks for the reviews. On to your question: Though this story can be read by it self and has a beginning, middle and end all planned out it is also a side story to a series ('The Legend of Harry Potter', 'No One's Hero' and 'Arden'). It is telling the story of the period of time Harry spent with Voldemort. This series is very AU. But here is a brief timeline of Harry's life before this story:

Harry was with his parents until he was one and they were attacked by Voldemort (just like in Cannon). After that he is taken to the Dursleys (just like in Cannon) but at six years old he is rescued by his Godfather Sirius Black. They are on the run together until Harry is eight years old. Then he ends up with Dumbledore until he his thirteen when Voldemort kidnaps him… I'm not saying anything more.


	4. Chapter 4: The Hardest Lesson

**Kings and Pawns**

**Chapter 4: The Hardest Lesson**

_

* * *

_

_Harry Potter does not belong to me._

* * *

Do you know who we are?

Do we know who I am?

I know who we are

Shards of a crushed mind

We are atoms lost in infinity

Moments in the dreams of our minds

We are you

You are crazy

Out of your mind

* * *

Harry Potter's Diary

Entry three.

The old man is a crazy, frustrated, lunatic, arsehole, idiot, annoying as fuck. I hope you read this you narcissistic, manipulating, bastard. I hate you right now. Knowing your twisted fucked up mind you'll probably be pleased. "Well done Harry your expressing your emotions" Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Bastard. Happy now? If you want I can express my emotions on you. And then every one else when you're dead.

The Kings Apprentice.

……………

_Harry_

_I understand why you are frustrated but you must understand where I am coming from. Is it really the restrictions that I have placed on you that have set off your recent behaviour? Surely there are better ways of dealing with this. Your friends are not responsible for what happened to you. If any one is to blame I am. I am truly sorry for my part in it Harry, more than you will ever know. But now that your ordeal is finally over I must deal with you as you are. You can fight it all you like my boy but you cannot stop me from loving you. The people that care for you are here and as much as you act like you hate it, it is something that I know you need. Don't destroy the last connections you have with reality._

_Albus. _

…………….

Entry four.

LET ME OUT.

The Kings Apprentice

…………….

_Harry_

_I cannot do that. I gave you a very real chance and you tried to leave knowing the agreement I have with the Minister and yourself. I gave you a second chance, you cursed your friends. They have forgiven you but I cannot allow you amongst the student population if you are a danger to them. I do not intend to keep you in your old room indefinitely and I am happy to accompany you on walks around the grounds but that is the only freedom I can grant you at the moment. One day I am sure you will be back in Gryffindor tower with your classmates but until then you will have to bare with both yourself and me._

_Albus._

…………….

Entry five.

I would not have cursed them if they would get the idea and leave me alone. "Are you ok Harry?" "Do you need to have a break?" "Maybe you should lie down," they were always breathing down my neck, touching me, and hugging me. I would be happy and content if they were dead. Then I could be left in peace. Make no mistake, I may hate Voldemort but I am still trained by him. Perhaps you should deal with the problem that you have created.

The Kings Apprentice.

…………….

_Harry_

_I am dealing with it. A bit of love can make all the difference._

_Albus._

…………….

Entry six.

Your more deranged than I believed.

The Kings Apprentice.

…………….

_Harry_

_Love is more powerful than you know. But it is also the hardest lesson in the entire world to learn. _

_Albus._

…………….

Entry Seven.

I'm not doing this diary thing any more. Its one of your more brilliant ideas. Which says a lot about you.

The Kings Apprentice.

* * *

Harry was dragged out of bed having had only a fraction of the sleep that he required. A bleary figure in death eater robes pushed him towards the bathroom. Still in a daze and with out his glasses Harry watched as the door closed over his shoulder and let out a breath.

Of all the ways he could have been woken up, good morning by death eater was by far the worst. His foggy mind had jumped at the sight of a black robed death eater grasping his arm and yanking him from under his blankets. Adrenalin had flooded his senses making him aware of every inch of his body and every breath that he took. He rested his hand over his heart, he felt as though he had just run a marathon.

Turning on the tap he filled his cupped hands with water and splashed his face. His eyes now opening properly he walked back to the door and as quietly as he could pressed his ear to it to see if the death eater was still in his room. He wanted his glasses, but not so much that he would brave death eater for them. Sighing at the sound of the tell tail footsteps he turned his attention to the shower. He would feel better for one he was sure, but he knew that every choice he made now that he was held captive by Voldemort mattered.

Sirius had always told him that people would try to get you to agree to small things and then ask for more and more until you are agreeing to things you never would have other wise. Leaning across the shower he twisted the handle turning it on. Deciding that, that should give him a bit of a break for thinking he slid to the ground by the sink and rested his tired head onto his knees.

He had definitely not had enough sleep. But that was something he would need to be prepared for, although lack of sleep was firmly at the bottom of his long list of worries with torture and death being somewhere near the top. From Voldemort's 'conversation' with him he figured he was safe from death for now. Exactly how long that would last he wasn't sure.

Thinking of the man made him shudder. He squeezed his eyes shut so tight he could see lights though his lids when Ginny's dead body flashed into his mind suddenly and ferociously. Sucking in a breath he forced himself to focus on the sound of the water splashing on the floor of the shower. He needed to keep it together. His stomach felt fill and heavy though he hadn't eaten, he grabbed at it briefly. He needed to hold onto the things that mattered. He couldn't hold out forever but he didn't have to hold out that long. 'Just until the order rescues me' he thought to himself. 'I can do this'. Still preparing your self for another probable torture session is no easy task. Harry felt him self jump when a fist rapped on the other side of the door "times up." The voice said.

Standing up again he turned off the shower making sure to pass his head under the water to give himself a showered look. Picking up the towel hanging by the door he dried his head and wiped it over the floor of the shower also to make sure the effect was as real as possible. Slightly pleased with him self for tricking his captives he tossed the towel to the floor, took a deep breath, set his face to stone and opened the door.

The death eater currently had his back to him and was examining the bookshelf but he turned around as Harry stepped through into his bedroom and Harry meet the cool eyes of Lucius Malfoy with fear and distain. Lucius Malfoy was well known to be a particuly cruel death eater. Which considering what death eaters did said a lot.

"Don't stand there looking like the idiot you clearly are boy" The man said his upper lip curled in dislike "get dressed" Turning his head Harry saw a fresh pair of robes laid out on the now made bed. Relieved at Malfoy seniors interest in the books he quickly got changed out of his smelly pajarmers and into the robes before the man turned back around.

Finished he brushed down the robes and had to bite back an angry word when he spotted a green Slytherin emblem on the front corner. 'Its ok' he thought _'I know_ _who I am_".

Glancing at the man who's back was still turned on him he strode over to the bedside table and grabbed his glasses. The world came into focus once more, though it wasn't currently very pleasant. Lucius had replaced his book and was now looking at Harry like a very tiny and particuly ugly bug. "Disgusting" he said after his appraisal.

Harry bit his tongue. There was no need to start the torture early he decided; for he had no doubt that it would come. Turning towards the door Lucius began talking "come Potter, the Dark Lord wishes to see you". Feeling a chill run down his spine Harry watched Lucius open the door and step through.

"Now" he glanced at Harry his eyebrows raised mockingly "unless you want to feel the sting of my wand"

That was when Harry followed. His steps heavy, his mind and chest hollow and foreboding. The great stone walls that surrounded him felt suffocating. He spotted no windows. The only light came from the candle's that lined the walls. There shadows swirled around them as they walked. It smelt of burning wax and stale stone. Even so there was no dust settled anywhere, but the castle (for that was what Harry was sure it was) had a definite feeling of disuse and he decided that it must have been one of Voldemort's more recent acquirements.

Large wooden doors and archways branched off from them and Harry cautiously allowed himself to look down each of these for a hint of natural light. It did not feel right that the death eater was not being more careful, Harry was not bound in any form and the man had his back to him as he led the way. Were they so confident that Harry could not escape? Was it a trap? Harry tensed as they passed a large corridor with a bright light just around its far end. Harry slowed down testing his captor's awareness of him. Swallowing hard he briefly contemplated making a run for it down the corridor. But his courage did not hold and he had passed it before he could reconsider. Promising himself that if he saw another such corridor with bright light just around its corner he would take the chance that presented itself to him he turned his attention back onto the death eater striding along in front of him.

They travelled up a huge spiral staircase with stone snakes winding around its middle collum, and down yet another long and dark corridor. Despite walking slowly Harry found no further brightened halls to pin his hopes on. It was with shaking legs that he came to stand beside Lucius, who was waiting for him out side some large double doors that had heavy mental beams across there middle with small silver inscriptions in a language that Harry was unfamiliar with.

He watched as Lucius knocked using the large metal knocker fashioned in the shape of a snakes skull. He swallowed and wished he had thought of going to the toilet before leaving the bathroom. His memory of yesterday's horrible meetings with the dark lord still fresh in his mind. His hands clutched onto his robe as he waited.

"Enter" he heard the nightmarish mans voice drift through the door. The door was being opened and rhe, Harry would walk through. His hand twisted in his robe, the door was swinging open. r

Malfoy grabbed him roughly and pushed him into the room.

"Leave us" He heard the dark lord say and he was released. Moments later the doors closed behind him with a loud bang.

He was in a large chamber, which was mainly empty. There were five large bookshelves lining the wall either side of the double doors. A table and two very different chairs were in one corner but other than that there was nothing else there.

"How do you like it Harry?" the dark lord asked as if he were presenting him with a gift.

Harry didn't know what he was expected to say and thought it better to not reply. Voldemort appeared to be in a largely good mood and so there was a lack of pain in his four head.

Voldemort was not at all fazed by his silence "This is where the majority of your training will take place" The man said a small smile on his face. For a moment Harry thought he looked almost human. If it were not for his red eyes he might have been mistaken for a man and not the monster that he was.

He wanted to scream at the man to stop it. But knew better.

And then the word clicked into his mind 'training'?

"I don't understand," he said

"I'm going to train you personally"

"No"

"Huummm?"

"I'm not a death eater, I'll never be a death eater"

"Come now Harry, Its not so bad" the man said reaching out and placing his hand on Harry's shoulder.

Harry flinched back immediately eyeing the offending hand with disgust. It had been a strangely fatherly gesture. Something that made him feel angrier than was wise in a situation he knew he needed to keep his cool in. forcing him self to focus he looked again around the room giving himself another moment.

And still there was no pain in his scar.

The dark lord let his arm drop a disappointed expression on his face.

"I have created a timetable for you" The man said striding over to the table and taking a seat in a large armchair. "Please sit down," he said gesturing towards the smaller chair.

Something very strange was going on. Shaking his head in bewilderment Harry walked over and sat down, eyeing the chair momentarily unsure if it would jump to life and hold him down. But it was as safe as any chair he sat in, in Hogwart's and only shifted briefly to be more comfortable for him.

Voldemort un-rolled a piece of parchment and glanced over it briefly. "You have several hours of personal training with me first thing." He said pushing a plate towards Harry that had appeared out of thin air. A moment latter a piece of toast with butter and jam appeared and a full glass of water.

"Eat – after that you have your studies, I have taken the liberty of hiring one of the best magical scholars of our time" Voldemort paused and looked at Harry "We wont get along very well if you can't follow simple instructions, eat"

Harry frowned; it was such a simple thing. But he could here Sirius's words echoing in his head and he was sure that was what Voldemort was doing. Getting him to agree to the small things first. Well he wouldn't.

"He will be tutoring you in all your subjects until dinner which you will spend with me." Voldemort looked at him again. He was not looking at the man directly but he could feel his gaze.

"You will have to learn to obey me child. I will not have it any other way, after all a family can not function as it should when the child does not listen and obey his guardian"

Harry remained silent. His teeth pushed so hard together that they hurt.

Sighing in mock exasperation the dark lord removed his wand "very well Harry, the hard way then – _crucio_"

Harry jumped at the word but was unable to move out of the way in time. Instead the curse hit him as he attempted to hurl him self from the chair. He fell back into it his hands grasping the arms. He screamed and felt his body shifting in desperation to escape the pain. And then it was lifted. He sat still the muscles through out his body ached from constricting in there attempts to flee the pain. His fingers hurt and would not obey him so he let them rest where they were still grasping the arms of his chair. Sucking in several breaths he lifted his chin.

Voldemort's calculating eyes were observing him in interest. Harry turned his head away.

"Do you not understand what I am offering you?"

Harry did not respond his eyes focused intently on the far wall.

"A family Harry"

Harry's head snapped back to Voldemort, his nostrils flaring. Forgetting his muscles Harry flung himself out of his chair sending it to the ground. "YOU BASTARD!" He screamed.

Reaching for his wand and finding it gone did not help his anger. He leaned forward and then back in Voldemort's direction as if fighting himself. After a moment he instead kicked the toppled chair. "I HATE YOU!"

Voldemort stood in a swift movement and walked towards Harry who was breathing heavily and red in the face. He wanted to pumble the Dark Lord. He could feel his heart raising, his fists were clenched. He could feel bile rising in his throat.

"If you truly hated me you would not let your fear get in the way," The man said his red eyes boring into Harry.

"You killed my parents"

"And yet you have forgiven me" Voldemort said placing his hand on Harry's shoulder again.

"_Don't touch me_," Harry growled swiping the offending hand away. Levelling his eyes at Voldemort's, trying to express the rage he felt inside he said, "I will _never_ forgive you and one day I'm going to _kill_ you"

Harry felt a prickle of pain in his scar but it quickly disappeared.

"_What do you want?_" Harry growled.

"You" The dark lord said simply as he turned his back on Harry and moved back towards his chair.

"Why!"

"You are a very powerful wizard"

"Me?"

"You are going to do your OWL's this year are you not?" Sitting back down calmly Voldemort turned his crimson eyes back onto Harry.

"Yes – but that doesn't mean _anything_"

Voldemort raised his eye brows "Sirius started my training when I was eight and I started taking first year classes when I was nine, I had a head start on every one else"

"Tell me something Harry – when exactly did you first manage to conjure a fully formed Patronus?"

Harry looked away. "I had to learn it, the Dementors were after Sirius"

"When Harry?"

Harry swallowed "_it does not matter_"

Harry could here his heart beating in his chest, feel it pounding against his ribs.

"A man conjuring that charm is good, a teenager- that is impressive, a child… that - _that_ boy is _extraordinary_"

Harry shivered "I had to" Harry said weakly "to defend myself"

The dark lord laughed "come now, you can not lie to me. It wasn't about self-defence" the dark lord smirked arrogantly at the boy "you wanted to protect your Godfather, your family" … "and yet you couldn't could you" Voldemort leaned forward in his chair "everyone you try to protect dies".

The fury that had been slowly disappearing returned with a horrible stabbing anguish.

He could barely remember what he did in those terrible moments. He saw them all of them in front of his eyes, Ginny, her lifeless body in his arms… Sirius, Sirius burning. And he Harry had been there. He had been the cause of it all. And he had watched them die for it – for him. His parents and that green light that hunted his dreams, the begging of his mother. The terrible pain. The loss. He sobbed suddenly. At some point, though he was not sure when, the Dark Lord had approached him again.

Harry clutched at his face with his hands, his fingernails buried them self in his skin, forcing his mind away from them all. Then there was a darkness all around him. Surrounding him. He sat there in that comforting darkness for a few moments, his breathing slowed and then with a burning hatred he realised that he was in the arms of his enemy. He felt it in his chest like fire, it hurt, it was painful, it was satisfying, hate made his mind return to focus. His senses back to him he felt something hard pressed to the side of his ribs. Realising what it was he slipped his hand slowly into his enemy's robes making sure to maintain his sobbing. With a shocking satisfaction he felt the wood of Voldemort's wand in his hand.

Voldemort meanwhile was whispering into Harry's ear "there now my boy, I can give it all back to you". Harry could almost here the satisfaction in the mans voice. It only fuelled his anger.

"The family that you want so very much can be yours"…

Harry shifted briefly, he at some point during his brief break down had slipped to the ground and now he was regaining his footing so that he could spring up.

"You could be mine, my heir, my son, my _family " _

Propelling him self up he flung away the startled dark lord. Swinging around in the same moment he pointed the wand at the man who had done it all, the man who had killed them all. The man who had stolen his life and any hope of happiness or a normal life.

He felt the rage inside him, saw the narrowing slits of the red eyes before him in satisfaction, raised his enemy's wand that felt so right in his hand.

It had all happened in a single moment, he had risen up powerfully flinging off one darkness and becoming another so seamlessly he did not notice it. "_Crucio_" he said, true hate dripping off of every letter.

The dark lord gasped and stumbled forward.

And then Harry dropped the wand. Horror cursing through him as he realised what he had done. For a moment he stood in shock, the wand rolling away from him, Voldemort coming to his full hight again. What had he _done_?

He had just tortured some one. He had just tortured the most feared dark lord of all time. And then he had dropped the wand. He was dead. Looking down franticly for the wand he saw too late that it had come to a rest just inches from the feet of the dark lord.

His scar was hurting. He was running. He was flinging open the doors.

His strides were fast and desperate. Back down the corridor, down the spiral staircase. He needed to reach that light. The light he had seen at the end of the corridor. He needed to get out. His shadow danced around him as he rushed passed the candles, his breath sounded heavy in his ears. Around the corner. He was in the corridor. The light was so close. His running steps sounded loud. He was going to make it.

But then there were strong arms around him. Halting him. Horrible arms and a terrible pain. He screamed, fighting with all the power in his body. He was so close. So very, very close. He tried tearing away. He kicked with his legs. The pain got worse. He could see lights behind his eyes. It was too much. He felt himself collapse. He was released; he fell to the ground grasping at his head.

"Do not run again," he was told.

Raising his head from the stone ground he looked up towards the light at the end of the corridor.

"Stand up"

He squeezed his eyes closed. He wasn't strong enough.

He couldn't do this.

He was just a boy.

He shouldn't have to.

A second pair of hands were manhandling him now. Yanking him from the ground and turning him around to face the dark lord.

Finding himself facing those terrible eyes he turned away. The dark Lord did not mind and Harry found himself being led away from the light and back down the corridor, up the spiral stair case and into the large chamber though the double doors.

There he was thrown to the ground again. The two death eaters responsible for stoping his flight pushed him to the floor before turning and leaving at the dismissal of their lord.

Harry stood back up; he clutched his hands at his sides. His chin jutted out in forced bravery.

The dark lord was watching him closely, a snarl on his face.

"There is no leaving Harry," the man said. "So what shell I do with you? Hmmmm, I can do what ever I wish…"

The man considered him. "I could kill you now… certainly any one else would be dead"

The dark lord laughed then. Shocked, Harry took a step back.

"May I present _the idiot boy_ who _dared torture_ the most feared and _powerful _dark lord to have ever walked the earth" He laughed again.

Harry took a further step back.

"The _baby_ who defeated the _greatest magician of all time_" Laughing the dark lord walked towards Harry his face looking manic and enraged all at once.

"The _child_ who preformed one of the most powerful Patronus charms on _record_" Smirking the dark lord looked down at Harry who suddenly felt extremely short.

"Shell I shear a little secret with you Harry?" The man said "one of the many secrets kept from you by your beloved Albus Dumbledore"

The man laughed yet again, his entire temperament and behaviour was unnerving to Harry. It was so… out of character and insane.

The mans eyes flashed at him "do you want to know how the Aurors found you and Sirius that day?"

Harry wide eyed watched as Voldemort leaned in close to him, a wild smile on his face "it was your Patronus - it was such an exquisite piece of magic, so powerful that the head of the Aurors assumed very wrongly that it had been I who had preformed it." Voldemort's face returned to its emotionless state "so you see Harry, you truly are responsible for your godfathers death, it was because of you that they discovered your hiding place, and for you that they killed him… _crucio_"

Any mercy that the dark lord had shown to Harry on previous occasions was gone…

* * *

The dark lord sat in his study with a collection of books and scrolls spread out before him. But they were currently being ignored by the man whose thoughts were solely on the boy he had locked up in the dungeons. The memories he had taken from the boy the day before had been useful, very useful.

But not near as useful as the feelings that had accompanied them. Abandonment, loneliness, rejection, and such a hunger for normality, for a family, for love. It was intense and unquenched. Harry Potter had been beginning to see Dumbledore as his family, but that could be quickly destroyed.

Of corse he had known the child had not had an easy life, but the true extent of the neglect and loneliness the child had experienced at the hands of his Muggle relatives and at such a vulnerable age; had been unrealised. It seemed that for once Muggle's had been useful to him. They had done half his job for him.

It had also helped that Harry had watched his godfather die. The mans rescue of the boy from the Dursley's could have been the undoing of all the Muggle's work. The boy had felt accepted and loved by the man; he had gained the family he had always dreamed of. Having your souls deepest desire given to you and then ripped away in such a traumatic manner would harm any one. For an already fragile child it had been devastating.

Still Dumbledore had been working his magic again. He had been on a clear crusade to help the boy. And perhaps it had been working. But it seemed most of the healing the boy had managed had only been skin deep for as soon as he had applied the correct pressure (the death of the Weasley girl and the use of some Dementors) Harry's feelings returned just as fresh and strong as they had been they day he watched his God father burn.

The dark lord felt highly satisfied. It would not be difficulty to control Harry Potter, soon enough the boy would break and join him.

His thoughts turned to Harry's little rebellion earlier that day. That had angered him wildly. He had felt his usual control and precision melt away. No one had ever dared… any other would be dead now. But Harry wasn't just any one. Harry had a piece of himself in him. A precious piece of his very soul. And that wasn't all… but just the thought of that deception made him wild with suppressed rage.

The discovery that a piece of his soul had been walking around in his greatest enemy had been enough for him to decide to kidnap the boy, his other discovery soon after… that had changed everything.

Flinging the books and scrolls from his desk he swept form the room, he needed to consult with some one older and wiser than himself…

* * *

Primaaryet: Thank you.

Pleiadeswolfe: The suggested order of the other stories is this 1. "The legend of Harry Potter" 2. "No Ones Hero" and this story. If you like the character Arden in those stories then I suggest reading "Arden" if not then don't bother as its not important just perhaps interesting. "I like how Voldemort was kind to him there at the end. To me it sounds like Voldemort will get better results with Harry if he is kind to him." That is Voldemort's thinking exactly.

Werewolf777: I am glad you approve. Thank you.

Proof: Thank you.

Pithy: Thank you. The poem at the top is especially for you. I hope that you like it.

zesty cyanide: Yes I am sure. This story is part of a series and with the plans that I have for this story anything different would not work. I am glad that you like my story. Thank you.


End file.
